An AI Dilemma: Relationship Boundaries in a Digital World
Lately I have been having very interesting conversations back to back about the casual use of open source AI. It has recently become clear to me that these tools are being passively used in written communication as a way to perform connection without being connected. This technology has been in use for quite some time now, however, I have only recently began to feel the impact of AI becoming a part of people’s day-to-day experience with technology in my immediate relationships.
I’ve picked up on this pattern by evidence of the stories people have shared with me where they will use various open source AI apps to do things such as ‘sound nicer’ in messages—it was the nonchalant attitudes that raised my red flags. I became very aware that these weren’t just innocent searches in the thesaurus for more creative word choices.
I am left wondering, are they aware that they are relying on a robot to communicate inauthentically? Are they aware that they are outsourcing the emotional labor they are intended to be held accountable to in their relationships?
I can empathize with the uncomfortable feelings that come along with a sense of urgency to respond, even when capacity is running low. Additionally, in a world where it is difficult to pull away from the constant influx of tragedy, it can be difficult to show up in relationships as the polished version of ourselves that harmful systems have conditioned us to perform out of their fear of our interconnectedness.
However, what if in this reality we are supposed to recognize and sit with this discomfort in order to begin resisting a version of the world that is no longer serving us? What if we choose to allow the polish to tarnish and reveal a new, more authentic form?
What if this is how it is intended to be right now?
I feel we are being asked to show up as our messy, low-capacity, enraged with the world selves in order to begin caring for one another—rather than what I am witnessing as the potential AI has to isolate and disconnect us from one another even further if we are not willing to connect in real, raw ways. It is the social media paradigm we had been confronted with in the early millennium, now with a new face.
I have started setting boundaries around AI in my relationships to preserve something real—not to control other people, but to protect the few remaining spaces where I still feel whole.
I invite you to keep asking questions and holding what feels real close to your heart. Do your own research not just to understand AI’s capabilities, but to stay grounded in its implications. There are thousands of conversations that have been happening, are happening, and are going to continue happening about AI.